29 June 2009

Life Lessons: How Men Eat Bak

Small talk:
1.School's back and it sucks.
2.Thank you JY for the soundtrack!
3.I miss you so much even though it was just a few minutes ago when we talked over the phone.
4.To the main story!

In case you don't know Hokkien, "bak" is actually a Hokkien word which literally translates to meat and usually, it's a reference to pork unless stated otherwise. Today, I'm gonna talk about some life lesson which I learnt this holiday that is the ways I observe of men eating meat. Before that, please browse through some of the terms which shall be used in my writings later on to save time on explanation:

Bak/Tuh Bak = Meat/Pork


Bak Kut = Pork Ribs, a very boney portion of the pig. Not much meat is found here but, not much fats either.


Chiak Bak = Lean Meat, the most commonly used portion of a pig. Low in fat content but meaty. Extremely popular among many.


Kong Bak = Pork Belly Meat(扣肉), the lardiest part of a pig. Sometimes, it can contain almost nothing but fats. The most unhealthy and unpopular choice of meat among health-conscious folks.


Twee Bak = Pork Trotter/Hock/Ham, the leg area of a pig. Moderate fats, loads of meat.


Kiam Bak = Salted Pork/Preserved Pork, pork kept and preserved in salt for a long period of time.


Bak Kwa = Jerky, Chinese dried meat product made in the form of flat thin sheets.


Loh Bak = Braised Meat, a type of cooked meat which usually makes the meat appear darker.


Iau Bak - Sheep Meat(Mutton)


Keh Bak - Chicken Meat(Chicken)


Now, to the 5 different types of meat-eating men.

Type #A Bak-juggler guy.

This guy like to eat bak alot. But he always got a problem, eat twee bak better or bak kut? So, he don't care, he just buy this two type of meat at once. Then he also scared people say he very greedy, take two piece of meat at once.

So he think he very smart, he take one piece of meat first, then toss the other one high in the sky and when it drop down, he toss the other one high and repeats the process so that he'll only have one meat at a time in his hands.

But what he don't know is that whenever he toss the meat, they are exposed to alot of germs, bacteria and all sort of stuffs. Eventually, the meat became rotten and he got no choice but to throw it away.

Type #B - Take-all-bak-you-can guy.

This one thinks he's at the bak buffet.



The moment he see meat, he take and put in his plate. Even loh bak he also take! Then all the meat start piling up like a mountatin. Eventually, the pile got so high that he couldn't balance, all drop on the floor. At the end of the day, he got no meat to eat.

Type #C - I-don't-like-bak guy.

This guy is the quiet quiet type. Whenever he see bak, he will quietly hide in one corner to observe the bak. One day the butcher give him one piece of kong bak, he say he don't want. The butcher think maybe is cause kong bak too fat, he don't like it, just like everyone else don't like. So, he give him a piece of bak kut later and he also don't want. Now, the butcher very confused liao. He think is maybe he don't like tuh bak at all so he start giving him keh bak, iau bak, all the different type of bak. All he don't want.

Until today, he don't eat bak at all. Sia lah, he vegetarian arh?

Type #D - Eccentric-and-irresponsible-meat-loving guy.

The moment he see the bak, you know he like to eat bak cause he's drooling already. Then the butcher pity him, give him a piece of bak and he promise to cook and eat the bak nicely. When he take the bak, he poke, he kick, he probe, he pinch, he stretch, he rub, he slap the meat to comfirm that it's really a meat that has appeared before him. After that, he leaves the meat alone and talk about how much he wants to eat the meat and how delicious the meat look but he never touches the meat, NEVER.

Eventually, the bak turn into kiam bak and the guy wonders why it turned into kiam bak instead of bak kwa. So, he threw the bak back to the butcher and blamed him for all that happened.

Wtf?

Type #E - Meat-is-my-type-of-bak guy.

He like to eat chiak bak, but chiak bak very expensive, chiak bak always sold out. He can never lay his hands on chiak bak. Since bak kut is also low in fat content, he tell himself, eat bak kut also can. Then he say he want to buy bak kut but the butcher tell him bak kut need some time to chop and prepare, he gotta wait.

While he is waiting, he saw kong bak. Then he tell everyone how disgusting the kong bak looks. Very oily, slimy, can see all the fats lying around. He even go online to some forum and tell the whole world that kong bak sucks and the kong bak looks like a bak chang itself, with all the fats replacing the rice.

Suddenly, the butcher give the kong bak to him for free(cause nobody wanna buy), he immediately eat the kong bak without cooking. After eating the kong bak, he still ask the butcher if bak kut is ready. Then the butcher ask him he eat the kong bak already not full meh? He don't know what to reply and became mute from that day on.

26 June 2009

Pop is Dead!

Yesterday, I was dancing to the tune of "Thriller" and today, that singer's dead.



Faizul, please don't call me up at 8am in the morning, just to tell me that Michael Jackson's dead. Who is he to be worth the disturbance of my sleep? Merely the King of Pop!

O.o

Gosh, moonwalk is dead?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Oh well, guess it's the dawn of another era?

Fragile little human life.

21 June 2009

A Short Update

It's been long since I've updated my blog, apologies! Blame this on the drama which never stops messing with my life. So let's just start with some mini updates for tonight!

By now, I believe some of you out there have noticed that the comment funcion is disabled in this blog. In other words, my readers can no longer post any comments in my blog. And the reason behind this? I'll elaborate on it another day but boy, I'm pissed.

Then, it's really time for me to face one thing about my life; It's a strage tale of disturbing occurance. It's like I deal with all sorts of people in my life every single day and the majority of these people I face usually brought me nothing but negative influence. If karma and retribution ever existed, I must have been a real bad ass in my previous life to be punished by letting me meet these assholes in this life time. So fcukers out there, mark this; I'm gonna be a greater asshole to you than you ever was to me in your next life.

Meanwhile, have a look at one of my lucky photoshot artwork:



The Gift
God's most luxurious gift bestowed upon mankind.


Smoke on, baby.

12 June 2009

Checklist for the Week

Video, video, zoo, editing, hospital, celebration(?), movie with JY, date...

So far, I think that's the schedule of my coming week. Tomorrow is actual filming, damn. Tomorrow, of all days, tomorrow. Guess I won't be joining Vinc and gang at the graveyard for our old friend's death annversary afterall.

The video, it's arduous, especially when you're working with humans. If you screw things up, they screw you. But when you get too involved with the work itself, they screw you too. But well, if they wanna screw, I just gotta let them be. Must remember, some people ain't worth my dime.

And I'm so honoured to be invited as a guest star in Tong's video. Okay, I know I've said things like "I don't do video appearance" but, this time, it's different cause I'm starring as "The Ghost" in Tong's 15 minutes production, "The Ghost". Lead actress sia, ain't that cool. The next coolest thing is that for the whole 15 minutes of the film, you won't see my face at all! I'm just gonna stand there with my hair untied, shielding my face and making my au naturale demonic crickerings just like how I always do.

Then there's also Peony's video project. I'm the technician in this one.

It's like everybody's video-ing lately. My life can't seems to not rotating around the axis of filming too. Perhaps, that's what I what I'm destined to work on, no?

And Vinc is at home now, my home. The elders don't seems too happy about that... Oh well, he's gonna leave in a few days' time anyway, just gotta bear with some ranting for awhile.

08 June 2009

Mahorela's Busy

Just as it is, I'm bloody busy.