1.School's back and it sucks.
2.Thank you JY for the soundtrack!
3.I miss you so much even though it was just a few minutes ago when we talked over the phone.
4.To the main story!
In case you don't know Hokkien, "bak" is actually a Hokkien word which literally translates to meat and usually, it's a reference to pork unless stated otherwise. Today, I'm gonna talk about some life lesson which I learnt this holiday that is the ways I observe of men eating meat. Before that, please browse through some of the terms which shall be used in my writings later on to save time on explanation:
Bak/Tuh Bak = Meat/Pork
Bak Kut = Pork Ribs, a very boney portion of the pig. Not much meat is found here but, not much fats either.
Chiak Bak = Lean Meat, the most commonly used portion of a pig. Low in fat content but meaty. Extremely popular among many.
Kong Bak = Pork Belly Meat(扣肉), the lardiest part of a pig. Sometimes, it can contain almost nothing but fats. The most unhealthy and unpopular choice of meat among health-conscious folks.
Twee Bak = Pork Trotter/Hock/Ham, the leg area of a pig. Moderate fats, loads of meat.
Kiam Bak = Salted Pork/Preserved Pork, pork kept and preserved in salt for a long period of time.
Bak Kwa = Jerky, Chinese dried meat product made in the form of flat thin sheets.
Loh Bak = Braised Meat, a type of cooked meat which usually makes the meat appear darker.
Iau Bak - Sheep Meat(Mutton)
Keh Bak - Chicken Meat(Chicken)
Now, to the 5 different types of meat-eating men.
Type #A Bak-juggler guy.
This guy like to eat bak alot. But he always got a problem, eat twee bak better or bak kut? So, he don't care, he just buy this two type of meat at once. Then he also scared people say he very greedy, take two piece of meat at once.
So he think he very smart, he take one piece of meat first, then toss the other one high in the sky and when it drop down, he toss the other one high and repeats the process so that he'll only have one meat at a time in his hands.
But what he don't know is that whenever he toss the meat, they are exposed to alot of germs, bacteria and all sort of stuffs. Eventually, the meat became rotten and he got no choice but to throw it away.
Type #B - Take-all-bak-you-can guy.
This one thinks he's at the bak buffet.
The moment he see meat, he take and put in his plate. Even loh bak he also take! Then all the meat start piling up like a mountatin. Eventually, the pile got so high that he couldn't balance, all drop on the floor. At the end of the day, he got no meat to eat.
Type #C - I-don't-like-bak guy.
This guy is the quiet quiet type. Whenever he see bak, he will quietly hide in one corner to observe the bak. One day the butcher give him one piece of kong bak, he say he don't want. The butcher think maybe is cause kong bak too fat, he don't like it, just like everyone else don't like. So, he give him a piece of bak kut later and he also don't want. Now, the butcher very confused liao. He think is maybe he don't like tuh bak at all so he start giving him keh bak, iau bak, all the different type of bak. All he don't want.
Until today, he don't eat bak at all. Sia lah, he vegetarian arh?
Type #D - Eccentric-and-irresponsible-meat-loving guy.
The moment he see the bak, you know he like to eat bak cause he's drooling already. Then the butcher pity him, give him a piece of bak and he promise to cook and eat the bak nicely. When he take the bak, he poke, he kick, he probe, he pinch, he stretch, he rub, he slap the meat to comfirm that it's really a meat that has appeared before him. After that, he leaves the meat alone and talk about how much he wants to eat the meat and how delicious the meat look but he never touches the meat, NEVER.
Eventually, the bak turn into kiam bak and the guy wonders why it turned into kiam bak instead of bak kwa. So, he threw the bak back to the butcher and blamed him for all that happened.
Wtf?
Type #E - Meat-is-my-type-of-bak guy.
He like to eat chiak bak, but chiak bak very expensive, chiak bak always sold out. He can never lay his hands on chiak bak. Since bak kut is also low in fat content, he tell himself, eat bak kut also can. Then he say he want to buy bak kut but the butcher tell him bak kut need some time to chop and prepare, he gotta wait.
While he is waiting, he saw kong bak. Then he tell everyone how disgusting the kong bak looks. Very oily, slimy, can see all the fats lying around. He even go online to some forum and tell the whole world that kong bak sucks and the kong bak looks like a bak chang itself, with all the fats replacing the rice.
Suddenly, the butcher give the kong bak to him for free(cause nobody wanna buy), he immediately eat the kong bak without cooking. After eating the kong bak, he still ask the butcher if bak kut is ready. Then the butcher ask him he eat the kong bak already not full meh? He don't know what to reply and became mute from that day on.
